Right Decisions for a Right Future
In the spirit of always being right, Claire has decided to bring her infallible decision-making skills to the highest office in the land. Here’s a brief overview of her campaign promises:
“I’ll implement a National Siesta Day, because everyone’s more productive after a good nap.”
-Claire
“I’ll establish cookies as the world treat. Every citizen will receive a weekly delivery of their favorite cookies, making every week a bit more delicious.”
-Claire
“My administration will prioritize research into making time travel a reality. Because who wouldn’t want to correct their past fashion faux pas?”
-Claire
“I’ll establish diplomatic relations with extraterrestrials. It’s high time we included them in our intergalactic neighborhood watch.”
-Claire
“The tax code will be simplified to a single equation that anyone can solve. Taxes should be a solvable problem, not a mystery novel.”
-Claire
“Education reform will include mandatory classes in Sarcasm Detection and Meme Interpretation.”
-Claire
“I’ll create a Department of Common Sense to vet all legislation. Because, well, it’s common sense.”
-Claire
“In my term, every citizen will receive a complimentary pet of their choice. Because pets make people happier, and happier people make a happier nation.”
-Claire
“Finally, I promise to run a transparent administration. So transparent, in fact, that all government meetings will be broadcast in the form of reality TV shows.”
-Claire
Remember, a vote for Claire is a vote for always being right! Stay tuned for more campaign updates as we march toward a future where being wrong is a thing of the past.